You don’t see it coming; but when it does arrive, the whole plan of your life is altered. As your trajectory changes course, you find yourself propelled forward with all your senses sharpened. Looking back, you can see what’s brought you to this moment of cohesion, right now and right here at this very moment in your life.  And while you know it goes beyond anything you were taught or groomed for, you can taste the flavour of what’s to come, as your senses tap directly into the magic of intuition and synchronicity.

As I write this, I notice my choice of butterflies as a topic is no coincidence either; the blue morpho butterfly has indeed been with me over my whole life. Yet it was not until my beloved sent me a very interesting article about why they’re blue, that things started to fall into place and the profound meaning of constructive interference began to make sense.

“Butterflies have fascinated humankind for millennia, and have been interpreted in a variety of ways, from omens of love to personifications of the soul. Yet, the delicate beauty of iridescent butterfly wings belies their intricate structure and functionality as the perfect foil for predators.

Structural colours are created by an optical effect (such as interference, refraction, or diffraction) rather than by a pigment. They arise from the arrangement of physical structures interacting with light to produce a particular colour.”

In the case of the butterfly, it is this interference that creates the blue we see. While I am by no means a scientist, I understand that the effects of interference can be witnessed with all types of waves: light, radio, sound, surface water and matter waves. By definition, wave interference is the phenomenon that occurs when two waves meet while travelling along the same medium to form a resultant wave of greater, lower or the same amplitude.

As spiritual beings in a physical body, we’re in constant motion and our energetic body is always interacting with the different stimuli, spaces, places, people and natural elements we encounter. Our very dance of life reveals one constant wave of different interferences; some are short and static, some ruthless and revealing, some long and tedious, some explosive and blissful, while others are easy and smooth sailing, or passionate and life-changing.

But one interference I think we can all relate to is the quest for love. We write about it, sing about it, talk about it and make music about it. We look for it with all our senses, hoping that its mystery will be revealed. And in this journey, we are in daily E-motion from one moment to the next – searching for another to complete us and make us feel whole, worthy and loved. Yet we forget the most important part: our dance within, where we create a firm foundation of trust, self-acceptance, and love for ourselves.

As I reflect on my own dance with curiosity and an open mind, I’m fascinated by how interference has affected my life. If someone had told me three years ago that I’d be living in Copenhagen, divorced with two boys speaking fluent Danish, teaching at an international school, learning another language and in a powerful and strong relationship with another man, I would never have thought it possible.

I am the person I am today because of all the interferences on my journey. Even the most painful and seemingly deconstructive waves have delivered pearls of wisdom. And while I didn’t know I was at a pivotal junction in my life then, I can rest easy knowing that there are no regrets, only a series of synchronous waves of interference that have been woven together to form the story of my life. And as I look at the map of my life’s dance, I see how it was all part of a bigger plan to prepare me for the enormous wave of interference to land on my shore. And throughout it all, the appearance of the blue butterfly.

As spiritual beings in a physical body, we’re in constant motion and our energetic body is always interacting with the different stimuli. Our very dance of life reveals one constant wave of different interferences.


My sister Kirsty, born with Downs’ syndrome, has always been fascinated by blue butterflies, celebrated at all occasions. As a children’s entertainer in London, I’d paint blue morpho butterflies on their faces every weekend for seven years. Life moved forward and I found myself married, with two magical children and a life that was starting to change. After separating from my ex-husband, I found myself in Peru on a silent retreat, working in a shamanic setting. As I bathed in the river, each morning the most magnificent blue morpho butterfly would appear. Yet while I was then unable to recognise the sign, it brought me great comfort.

After returning to London, I found myself on a work trip to Copenhagen where I met another human being whose waves had begun to move alongside mine.   As we interacted over the next few months, the world of butterflies seemed to burst into life and my book cover of a blue morpho butterfly was born.

All the while, our exchanges brought us closer and closer. I moved back to South Africa, where our long distance relationship seemed to be carried magically on the wings of butterflies. Yet it was not until recently (after being in Copenhagen for almost a year) when Thor sent me the article on why blue butterflies are blue, that it all fell into place: I realised that this man is without a doubt, the most constructive interference I’ve ever danced alongside.

Thor, I am beyond grateful for your presence in my life and my children’s. These ripples of interference keep magnifying in creativity, communication, and unity. Even when times are challenging, I realise how I’ve been given the chance to take another path in life, where I am growing every day.

As the butterfly emerges transformed, this new chapter in my life has taught me how to let go of old memories, people, friendships and the old echoes and parts of me that no longer serve my new trajectory. As I look at my truth and honesty in a real and ruthless way, I am closing old doors and opening others to new possibilities. Above all, this new chapter is teaching me to set deeper boundaries of self-love and self-worth.

I invite you to enter into that conversation with yourself: where you can reflect on your own life? Discover hidden signs, feel the synchronicities and make space for constructive interferences to land on your shores.

For those of you who have not read my book, ‘An Open Relationship’ looks into this on a much deeper level, following the journey of a woman (me) who is looking for love, freedom, truth, self-worth, and hope.

May we all try and be constructive interference for ourselves and all the people we meet along this Journey called Life.